beautyfromashesandbutterflykisses

To My 3 Beautiful Children,

 I knew that this day would come and this letter would be written. So many people have encouraged me to write to you guys. I have tried and tried and tried. Every time I would get a notebook and pen I would have nothing. On the inside I would just be empty. And a part of me still is empty but I know that Poppa is healing me and you 3 through this letter.

First, I want to apologize. I am so sorry that you guys are in a situation that you guys didn't ask for. Boys, I know yall never asked for your biological mom to die so early. I am so sorry that I wasn't enough to protect yall from the monsters that live behind the closed doors of your home. I protect yall the best way I know how until we see each other again. Through prayer and scripture. please know that even though I was a broken, beaten down, empty woman that you guys saw, I always ALWAYS love you 3 with all my heart, soul, and everything in me. There has never been a day that has gone by that I have not once thought about you 3 and wonder how you guys are holding up. I hope that you guys can forgive me for the mistakes I made. For the times I couldn't speak for the 4 of us. Or whatever mistake I may have made that has deeply hurt you. Do you guys still love me or is there now a new woman that you consider to be your mom now? It is OK, if there is, all I ask is that you guys never forget how much I will always love you 3. 

Secondly, I am not the same woman you guys used to know. Poppa God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit have / and are turning me into a completely different person and I have and am falling in love with her. I can't wait to introduce you 3 to your new mom. I think you guys will love her to. Please be gentle with her though as parts of her are still fragile. As I am sure there are parts of your hearts that are too. 

Third, I am so proud of you 3. The way you guys have handled everything like a champ. I am very sorry that it hurt you guys but truth is, broken/ hurt people hurt innocent people and  narcissistic monsters truly have no mercy, unlike the Love of Jesus who Grace and Mercies are a new every day.  

Last, my phone is always on when ever you guys are ready to talk. All you have to do is unblock me. You guys are old enough to make your own decision and lets be frank, The monsters behind the closed doors were already allowing you guys to make some very big grown up decisions before you guys should have been given permission. 

 

My 3 beautiful babies, I have always and will always love you guys and am so very proud of the young adults that you guys are. Please don't be afraid to go and enjoy life. Stay safe, stay vigilant (aware of your surroundings) and be aware of true Red  Flags as you guys are living with the 7 Deadly Sins in the Flesh.

I love you

Love,

Mom